“It was clear to me that a self-absorbed natural woman ‘is an enemy to God’ and to the people in her sphere of influence.” ~Neill F. Marriott
I recognized the woman as I walked past her toward the door and I knew that I should know her name, but I didn’t.
When she stopped me to express how much she loved my dress I wanted to ask her name, to explain to her that I recognized her but had failed to remember why, and to ask her about herself. Where she was from. What had brought her to this small town. And how she liked it here.
But all I managed to say–though I felt impressed that she needed me to say more–was “thank you” and walked out the door.
I have found myself in this position–in these moments of unrealized connections–many times before.
I remember–several years ago–dismissing the promptings to speak to a woman I saw standing alone in a hallway, with the excuse that I simply felt “too shy” that day.
It was then that a tender voice spoke to my heart, telling me that, “To be shy is to be self-absorbed.”
I did not take offense to this criticism because with it came understanding. An understanding that my “shyness”–born from feelings of self-doubt and insecurities–was an act of selfishness. When I put my needs first–fiercely protecting myself from vulnerability–I robbed others of moments of connection and acceptance.
Tomas Jech perfectly captured my feelings about this when he shared the story of an unrealized connection with a co-worker.
“My insecurity was having an effect on other people and who knows what else it had been affecting. I had stifled another person in his moment of vulnerability when he was reaching out to me. Once I realized this, I got a determination to never be like that again. I want to be someone that people can be vulnerable around.”
I too am ready to shed the protective cocoon of self-doubt and insecurity and walk in vulnerability so that you–when we meet–will feel safe to do the same.
So please–if our paths should cross–stop and share your stories with me and I’ll promise to do the same with you. And who knows, together we may just discover that we are worth so much more than we ever imagined ourselves to be.
“If you don’t go up to somebody today and act and perform like they’re your friend and ask them about their lives and their big ideas, you will miss something that is going to change your life. So I’m begging you to act anything else but indifferent to the people around you today.” ~Mark Bowden