In my last post I mentioned that I want change but I didn’t mention what that change will look like.
I didn’t mention it because I don’t know.
I do know that things are changing–evolving–in my life with or without me. I want it to be with me. I need to change and evolve too.
I planned an imaginary trip to an island–where I could live free of outside influences and opinions–and thought carefully about what I wanted to bring with me. My family would be my first choice, but this is a solitary journey. A time to find me.
I soon learned that–aside from a few items–I couldn’t pack for my imaginary trip. I couldn’t pack because I don’t know what I want. Not fully. I don’t know the me that fits into my changing life.
“The real thesis of yoga is not that you get your health, your well being, your inner peace from outside yourself, which is what our culture often teaches us, but rather we have it already.
If your happiness and well being are found in what you have to get, then everyone has power over you. But if the question becomes, ‘What am I doing to disturb my own inherent health and well being?’ that’s very empowering because that you can do something about.” ~~On Yoga: The Architecture of Peace (Netflix)
Through the years I’ve both really wanted to and really not wanted to begin the practice of yoga. The really not wanted to has always won. Until now.
“When we’re practicing yoga we’re able to connect with our inner feelings, with our thoughts.”
Now I’m ready to explore yoga and meditation as a means to create change. Yoga and meditation will be my journey to the solitary island. Yoga and meditation will be my time to find me.
I’ll find me so that the next time I go to pack that imaginary suitcase, I’ll know exactly what to bring.
Because I’ll know exactly what I want.
And exactly who I am.