Pondering the life and mission of Corrie Ten Boom, I wondered if one such as I would ever be able to walk with her same faith.
I started to express my inability to even envision such a thing but stopped myself, knowing that if I can’t envision it then it will surely never happen.
Instead I asked the Lord to please work His miracles in me that I might one day be a servant such as she.
At the completion of my prayer–and still feeling deeply inadequate–a tap on my Instragram icon brought me this message,
“Okay.” I surrendered. “This is all I need to know. I will be a patient student under thy tutelage and trust in thy will.”
The peace and light I felt from this confirmation was short lived as the forces of darkness descended upon me, conspiring to make me feel miserable, unworthy, incapable–Depressed!
It is a common tactic. One that has worked to stop me many times before and one that nearly worked again as I contemplated giving up writing and interaction with the human race entirely. But this time it couldn’t work. Not with the knowing I have received from my God.
He told me to write. He showed me the outcome. To give up now would be to deny His word and the power of His promises.
And–
even if it means that I have to scrape myself off of the floor to scribble prose with shaky hands–
to deny Him is something I simply cannot do.
