Twice this summer I have started new books on my Kindle. Twice I completely immersed myself in them. Until the darkness they brought into my heart, the thoughts they brought to my mind, and the words they brought to my lips caused me to abandon them both.
Frustrated, I searched for something better, settling on Corrie Ten Boom’s “Tramp for the Lord”. A book that, in contrast to the others, filled me with light and–as Corrie’s words perfectly describe it,
“…the abundant life in Jesus Christ–the joy, the unspeakable love and peace that passes all understanding. It was though I was carried by the Holy Spirit through the joyful storehouse of abundance that we possess when we know Jesus.”
While reading this book I am filled with the desire to fall to my knees, rejoicing in the wondrous plan and power of my God. While reading this book I feel empowered, I feel enlightened, I feel whole.
While reading this book I walk with my Lord.
And in all of this I am left to marvel. Marvel that the day will surely come when I will again read books devoid of light because their intrigue is simply too great to put them down.
I’ll harden myself to the unseemly parts in the movies I watch because the good parts are just so good.
And I’ll excuse the suggestive words and meanings in the songs I listen to because their sound energizes me while I clean or drive.
And where my prayers are now filled with fire and the glory of God, with these choices they will again fall flat as–with heavy eyelids–I whisper my standard thank yous and desired blessings before climbing into bed.
It is true that these activities will fill me with temporary joy, but at what cost?
Because though He always, always stands at the door–I fear that the darkness I invite into my heart, the thoughts I introduce to my mind and the words I allow to hover on my lips–will keep me from hearing His knock.
And I need to hear His knock. Oh how I need to hear it. That I might welcome Him in, walking more fully in His will and being carried “through the joyful storehouse of abundance that we possess when we know Jesus”.
“Trying to do the Lord’s work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting and tedious of all work. But when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, then the ministry of Jesus just flows out of you.” ~Corrie Ten Boom