I’ve discovered that someday–as in someday I’ll revise my novel or someday I’ll clean my closet (oh my blessed closet)–is a faraway, magical land where streams are made of lemonade and unicorns dwell.
When my kids were little and afraid of having nightmares, I’d tell them to think about happy things while falling asleep. “Think about Disneyland, magical pony rides, or a room full of ice cream and candy.” I’d say,
“Then maybe you can make your dreams be happy.”
I think “someday” is a little like that. “Someday” keeps me focused on the happy part of my dreams, the magical wonder of my goals, while keeping me securely tucked away from the nightmarish hard work, planning, sacrifice and pain part of accomplishment.
Oh “someday”, you’ve made me some beautiful promises through the years and I appreciate those butterflies in my tummy, giddy with excitement moments we’ve shared. I really do. But the follow-through part? I mean, it’s lacking. I can never seem to make it to you. And my closet–seriously–my closet is driving me crazy.
I guess what I’m trying to say, “someday”, is that I’m ending our relationship, trading it in for lists and deadlines. I know those are hard words for souls like us and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little afraid of the nightmares I might face (because my closet… Whoa!) but I’ve found that the only way I ever accomplish anything is through list and deadlines.
Take the kitchen “menu board” for example. If I wake up and write down the evening menu each morning you can bet, come dinnertime, we will be enjoying everything listed. Right down to the homemade bread and delicious dessert. If I don’t write it down… well, there’s always cold cereal or Ramen.
But the thing is, “someday”, I don’t want a cold cereal and Ramen life. I don’t. And I can see that that is exactly where all of your promises lead. Cold cereal and Ramen. And I’m sorry but I can’t follow you anymore. I just can’t.
But now this notebook on the other hand…
This handy dandy “to do list” notebook…
I mean, he’s pretty cute.